Family Law: Parenting Plan Solutions

Surmounting Parenting Plan Challenges

A good part of the time of a family lawyer is spent negotiating custody arrangements and parenting plans. At first glance, this might seem very straightforward and no more than determining the amount of time each parent will spend with the children and setting vacation and holiday schedules. In practice, however, even these basics can require significant effort and compromise, and when unique situations arise, as they inevitably do, additional cooperation and creativity is needed. Parents understandably want as much time as possible with their children, and emotions can run high when determining how to best share custody.

Complications and challenges in determining a workable custodial schedule can take various forms. For example, parents may live in different states or even different countries. Work schedules are often demanding and unpredictable, particularly for those who work overnight shifts, are on call, or travel frequently. And for those who do not work outside of the home, they do not necessarily want to be the on-call parent. Sharing holidays can prove difficult when extended families have long-standing traditions or relatives scattered across the map. In all of these situations, compromise and creativity are essential.

Parenting Across Distances

When parents live far apart, traditional alternating weekend arrangements or equally shared schedules are often impossible. In these cases, longer blocks of parenting time can be an effective solution. For example, the child might spend the school year with one parent and summers and extended holidays with the other. While this means less frequent contact, modern technology provides ways for parents and children to stay connected through regular video calls, shared photo albums, and even online games and chats. Additionally, the parent who lives at a distance can commit to traveling to see the child for monthly or quarterly visits, ensuring that the bond remains strong despite geographical distance.

Unusual Work Schedules

Parents with demanding or irregular work schedules face another set of challenges. Nurses, doctors, first responders, and business travelers often cannot commit to traditional weekly custodial times but still want to be actively involved in their children’s lives. In such situations, a workable arrangement might allow the other parent the opportunity to care for the child when the scheduled custodial parent is unavailable. This not only ensures the child is with family but also saves the cost of third-party childcare.

If the other parent is given predictable advance notice so they can adjust their schedule accordingly, they often welcome this additional time with the children and are not left feeling like they need to always be on standby. If, however, the other parent is unavailable or unable to provide the care, outside caregivers may be necessary.

A live-in au pair or a trusted nanny can provide stability when a parent’s schedule requires overnight shifts or extended absences. The key is transparency and advance planning so children are not left feeling uncertain about where they will be or who will be caring for them and both parents are content in knowing that the children are in good hands.

Holiday Traditions and Extended Families

Holidays can be especially difficult, as parents may have different traditions or may not live near extended families who gather at specific times. One solution is to embrace flexibility rather than insisting on a single “official” celebration. Most children are perfectly fine with the idea of two Christmases, two Thanksgivings, or even two birthday parties. This approach allows each parent to celebrate meaningfully with their side of the family while ensuring the child does not feel torn between households. When parents observe different religious or cultural holidays, children can benefit from experiencing both sets of traditions, broadening their sense of identity and belonging and mostly enjoying the time with family.

Keeping Children at the Center

Ultimately, creative parenting plans work best when parents keep their focus on the children’s needs rather than their own personal desires. Litigation is costly and often exacerbates conflict and can be avoided when parents remain flexible, communicate clearly, and prioritize their children’s well-being.

With patience and creativity, unique parenting plan issues can be resolved in ways that allow children to thrive. By remembering that the ultimate goal is to provide stability, love, and security, parents can turn potential conflicts into opportunities to model cooperation and resiliency for their children.

With more than 25 years of experience in the industry, Jennifer Brandt’s practice includes all aspects of family law including divorce, custody, support, alimony, adoption, and guardianship matters in both Pennsylvania and New Jersey. In addition to family law litigation, she also negotiates prenuptial, post-nuptial and cohabitation agreements on behalf of clients. In addition to her busy practice, she’s a well-known legal commentator on national news networks including CNN, CNN Headline News, Fox News Channel, MSNBC, ABC News, Court TV and local and regional television and radio.

If you have a family law issue or would like her to speak about legal issues, you can connect with Ms. Brandt at www.cozen.com.